1 00:00:30,679 --> 00:00:35,679 subsBusters proudly presents 2 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,780 The.IT.Crowd.S03E02 3 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,200 Is this your stapler, Roy? 4 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,240 No. 5 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:43,880 No, it's not. 6 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,400 I used it for one thing. 7 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,440 How many staples did you use? 8 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,640 Six or seven. 9 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:53,000 One, two, three, four... 10 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,920 five, six... Is that seven? 11 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,560 Why do you need to know? 12 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,720 I just do. I need to know, you know I need to know, 13 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:03,160 and you never count how many staples you've used. 14 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,320 Eight, nine... Oh, gonna have to do it in fives. 15 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:09,520 Five, 10, 15... Is that 20? 16 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:10,920 There you go, Moss. 17 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:14,680 (COCKNEY ACCENT): Awright, 'arry? See that ludicrous display last night? 18 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,440 What was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott on that early? 19 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,480 Fing about Arsenal is, they always try an' walk it in. 20 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,640 True. See you later, Moss. 21 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:23,320 Mind 'ow you go. 22 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:28,560 What was that? 23 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:29,400 What? 24 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,560 You were saying football things, in a football voice! 25 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,000 Oh, it's this new site. It sends you a list 26 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,560 of football phrases that you can use in normal conversation, 27 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,200 updated daily. It's great. 28 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,120 I only use it so I can say something to the postman. 29 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,080 It's got a pronunciation guide, or... 30 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,600 (COCKNEY VOICE) pronunciation guide. 31 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:47,120 Oh. 32 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:51,520 (ELECTRONIC VOICE): 'Did you see that ludicrous display last night?' 33 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,520 You can get it sent to your phone, so that even when I'm away 34 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,680 from my desk I can still sound like I'm just a big, normal man. 35 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,960 45, 50... 36 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,200 Oh, hey, Moss, send me a link for that, will you? 37 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,800 Right, I'm off. 38 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:04,440 Bit early! 39 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:05,480 Got a date. 40 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,000 Oh, right, with Michael? 41 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:08,680 That's right. 42 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,080 Looks like a magician? 43 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,040 Yeah. 44 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:18,400 What? 45 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:19,120 What? 46 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:20,360 He looks like a what? 47 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,240 This is Michael, right? The guy that came in last week? 48 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:24,960 He doesn't look like a magician. 49 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:28,360 Yeah, he does. He does, doesn't he, Moss? 50 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:28,960 Hmm? 51 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,040 The guy that came in looking for Jen? 52 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,120 Ah, Michael the Magnificent. 53 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,160 He doesn't look like a magician. 54 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,360 He does. 55 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,400 He doesn't. 56 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,520 He massively does. 57 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:40,640 He does, Jen. 58 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:41,720 Oh, shut up. 59 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,920 It's a lovely restaurant. 60 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,760 Isn't it? One of my favourites, actually. 61 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,320 One of the silly things I love about this restaurant, have you had a look 62 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,240 at these salt and pepper pots, they're really beautiful. 63 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,400 There's something about the shape, and I'm probably a bit of 64 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,720 a design freak but it's a kind of beautiful... 65 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:15,200 (THEY CHAT AND LAUGH) 66 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:19,920 (TITTERS SARCASTICALLY) 67 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,040 What are they saying that could possibly be that funny? 68 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,160 I'm funny, why can't I be over there making them laugh? 69 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:30,800 They're proper men, Roy. 70 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,560 We're men. We're proper men. 71 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,520 What's so different about us? 72 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,080 Seven, 14, 73 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:43,000 51, 35, 42, 74 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:47,440 49, 35... 75 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:48,360 Seven... 76 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,920 (ELECTRONIC VOICE):'Did you see that ludicrous display last night?' 77 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,520 ..21, 28... 78 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,520 Oh, referee - oh... 79 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,400 Did you see that ludicrous display last night? 80 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,200 What's Wenger doing sending Walcott on that early? 81 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:31,040 The thing about Arsenal is they always try and walk it in. 82 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,920 Exactly. Dan. 83 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:33,920 Roy. 84 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,640 But Chelsea, on the other hand, I like them suddenly. 85 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,280 (HOARSE): Yeah. 86 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,720 (COCKNEY VOICE): Chelsea? You're having a laugh int'ya? 87 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,920 I'll put money in it if you like? 88 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,040 Nah, I've already got a pony on Liverpool, 89 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,880 so I probably won't see that again. 90 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,240 Duh! 91 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,080 Dan, Moss. Moss, Dan. 92 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,120 Nice to meet you, son. Want a drink, boys? 93 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:58,680 We'll get this. 94 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,920 Nah, it's on me. Whatever these boys are having. 95 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:01,280 Here he is. 96 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,320 Oi, oi. 97 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,680 Oi, oi! 98 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:07,720 Roy, Moss, Derek, Luke. Moss here fancies Liverpool for the weekend. 99 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,560 Liverpool? You're having a laugh int'ya? 100 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,760 He's put a pony on it! 101 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:13,600 A pony? 102 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,160 Yeah, I know. Tell Barry! 103 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,520 Tell me what? 104 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,000 He's only put a pony on Liverpool. 105 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,960 You lunatic, eh? 106 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,640 MASCULINE BANTER 107 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:53,800 So, who do you support? 108 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,200 Who do I support? 109 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,640 Yeah. 110 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,680 West Ham. 111 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,840 Did you say West Ham? 112 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,720 Is that all right? 113 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,760 All right? 114 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,240 What does that look like? A birthmark? 115 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,520 (THEY LAUGH RAUCOUSLY) 116 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:19,480 Look on his face! 117 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,040 Look on my face! 118 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:26,920 (DEEP VOICE): Roy, can I have a natter with you? 119 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:31,480 It's about private man's business. I'm sure you boys will understand. 120 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,160 (CAMP VOICE): Excuse me, please. 121 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,880 I'm a little bit scared, and I want to leave. 122 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:38,440 What? 123 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,560 We're in too deep, Roy. I'm worried they're going to find out 124 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,600 I don't know what a pony is. We should go. 125 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,920 I'm not going anywhere. I haven't paid for a drink 126 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:49,280 all night, and besides, once you get over the whole football thing, 127 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:51,680 they're actually surprisingly easy to talk to. 128 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,320 Maybe we're proper men! 129 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,880 Look, we're messing with stuff we don't understand. 130 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,520 We're through the looking glass. 131 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,840 Just promise me you will not let this get too far. 132 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,560 I promise. 133 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,760 CHEERING 134 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,840 Hooray. He's kicked the ball. 135 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,680 Now the ball's over there. 136 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,360 That man has it now. 137 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,920 That's an interesting development. 138 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,160 Maybe he'll kick the ball. 139 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:25,360 He has indeed and apparently that deserves a round of applause. 140 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,800 Will you shut up! 141 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,360 This is the worst thing in the world. 142 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,440 What could I do? 143 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,080 He bought the tickets on the phone when we were in the pub. 144 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:33,560 I could hardly say no, could I? 145 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:34,720 Can I use this? 146 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,240 I don't know. 147 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:41,920 SINGING 148 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,600 Oh, they're singing! Maybe we should! 149 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,280 Just promise me we won't do anything else with them, 150 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,120 I want to go back to being weird. 151 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:52,840 I like being weird, weird's all I've got. That and my sweet style. 152 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:56,000 OK, look here, we'll make our excuses when the match is over. 153 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,840 How long do football matches last? 154 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,960 A billion hours apparently. 155 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,920 Gonna play poker tonight, you game? 156 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:03,920 I'm in. 157 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,760 Moss? 158 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,120 (GRUFF): I won't Dan, no. 159 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:07,720 Come on. 160 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,120 No, no can do. I'm seein' a bird. 161 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,360 Oh, really? 162 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,000 Yeah, why not. 163 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,240 What's she like? 164 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,880 Well, she's, er, not much to look at but she is very kind 'arted. 165 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,360 So as I say, I've gotta vamoosh. 166 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:21,920 What, you're not watching it? 167 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:23,360 They're 'aving a larf today. 168 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,400 We're winning. 169 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,040 No, they're having a larf. 170 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,840 Oh... 171 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:40,320 (GROANS AT LENGTH) 172 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,400 Morning. 173 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:46,280 Oh, my word. When did the English start drinking like that? 174 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,560 You people drink like you don't want to live. 175 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:50,520 We do love to binge. 176 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:51,880 What happened to you? 177 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,600 I've got Cockney neck, 178 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,240 I've been speaking too much Cockney and it's done my blooming neck in. 179 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,160 < Oh, here she is. 180 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,520 Debbie McGee. 181 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:04,320 Morning, all. I'm off to break up with him. 182 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,280 What's wrong with you two? 183 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,160 We've been hanging out with men. 184 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,440 Why are you breaking up with him? 185 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:12,920 Why? What do you mean why? 186 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,320 Because he looks like a magician. 187 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:16,480 Doesn't he, though? 188 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,080 Oh, he totally does. 189 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,560 And ever since you two said it I haven't been able 190 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,880 to get it out of my head. So thanks, thanks a lot. 191 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,560 Another one bites the dust. 192 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,360 You're not breaking up cos of that?! 193 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:30,040 I can't be seen with that...mentalist. 194 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,880 Do you know what he does for a living? 195 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,200 He is a driving instructor. 196 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:39,640 A driving instructor who looks like a magician. It's preposterous. 197 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,320 That's almost the worst look a driving instructor could have. 198 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,960 So distracting. 199 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,720 Only clown would be worse. 200 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,440 Mmmm. Or mountie. 201 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,640 So, how was your night of poker with the boys? 202 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:55,480 Yeah, good, good. 203 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,480 I mean, I didn't... I wasn't brilliant at the start because, 204 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,080 you know, I was mostly vomiting. 205 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,240 Lovely. 206 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:05,640 But then I knuckled down and I brought my "A" game and, er, 207 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,320 things got a lot better. 208 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:08,840 That's good, how much did you win? 209 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:13,920 Er, no, no, I lost £200. But it's less than I usually lose, so... 210 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,960 Still, £200 though. 211 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,680 Mm, but listen to this, Dan let me off. 212 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,600 He just totally let me off. Proper men are so cool. 213 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,560 They just don't care about money. 214 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,440 PHONE RINGS 215 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,840 Hello. 216 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:29,720 Where's my fackin' money? 217 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,480 I want that money, give me my money. 218 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,400 Oh, really? 219 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,040 I'm only joking, you muppet. Ha-ha! 220 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:39,960 (HYSTERICALLY): Oh! You're funny. 221 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,040 'Oi, listen,' 222 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,520 a friend of mine's let me down. Can you meet me at lunch? 223 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,240 Yeah, OK, OK. 224 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,000 (I just went to the toilet.) 225 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,480 What's your address? 226 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,460 Here he is. Hiya, Dan. 227 00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:05,180 You got here. 228 00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:06,500 Oi-oi, boys. 229 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,980 All right, mate. All right? You all right? 230 00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:10,980 Yeah, er, pretty good. 231 00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:13,340 Oh, hey, sorry again about last night. 232 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,860 Nah, don't mention it. Listen, that favour, 233 00:11:14,860 --> 00:11:17,580 you wouldn't be available to do a little taxi job would you? 234 00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:19,100 You want me to drive? 235 00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:20,740 This? 236 00:11:20,740 --> 00:11:22,420 Yeah, yeah, I suppose so. 237 00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:25,340 I wouldn't bother you with this, but someone's let me down. 238 00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:26,860 It should only take a couple of hours. 239 00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:29,300 It's no problem. Oh, is it an automatic? 240 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:32,220 Cos I can only drive an automatic. Oh, it is an automatic. 241 00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:36,660 I'm your man. Oh, and you're sure that everything with the money is OK? 242 00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:38,700 Oh, yeah, yeah. This makes us totally quits. 243 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:41,660 You, sir, are a gentlemen. 244 00:11:43,060 --> 00:11:44,500 This guy, huh? 245 00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:55,860 Here we go. Pull over here, Roy. 246 00:11:55,860 --> 00:11:57,300 OK. 247 00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:04,100 "You have reached your destination." 248 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:05,660 All right, everyone. 249 00:12:05,660 --> 00:12:08,020 Take your time. 250 00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,260 Oh, hey, how do you get the radio to work? 251 00:12:12,260 --> 00:12:14,060 Ah, I've got it, got it. 252 00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:15,580 POP MUSIC PLAYS 253 00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:17,020 Oh, I love this one. 254 00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:24,820 PHONE RINGS 255 00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:27,740 Yeah? Hey, man. All right? 256 00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:29,180 Hey, do you want to meet up after this? 257 00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:31,540 Yeah, nothing's happening here. 258 00:12:31,540 --> 00:12:36,860 The guys have this, er, lockup down by the gas works on Newcombe Road. 259 00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:41,140 The gas works? Is there anything about them that's not manly? 260 00:12:41,140 --> 00:12:43,540 Jesus! Moss! 261 00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:44,860 Jesus Christ! 262 00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:46,260 What? What is it? 263 00:12:46,260 --> 00:12:47,940 There's a robbery! 264 00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:49,620 Across the road, right here. 265 00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:54,260 There's a robbery. There's some blokes in balaclavas. 266 00:12:54,260 --> 00:12:56,820 Wow! They're, they're totally robbing this place. 267 00:12:56,820 --> 00:12:58,300 Call the police, call the police. 268 00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:00,260 Yeah, bye. 269 00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:07,060 Police, please. 270 00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:11,180 Yeah, hi, I'm on Denbury Road and there is a robbery 271 00:13:11,180 --> 00:13:13,180 taking place right now. 272 00:13:13,180 --> 00:13:18,060 Three men, indiscriminate race, balaclavas, big guns. 273 00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:20,140 Yeah, OK... 274 00:13:20,140 --> 00:13:22,220 Oh, my God, they're coming out. 275 00:13:22,220 --> 00:13:24,660 They're coming out, OK, they're coming out. 276 00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:27,780 They're running towards us. They're running towards the car. 277 00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:29,100 They're getting... 278 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,220 ALARM RINGS 279 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:32,340 DRIVE! 280 00:13:32,340 --> 00:13:33,780 Okey-dokey. 281 00:13:43,420 --> 00:13:44,660 Straight ahead. OK. 282 00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:47,420 Yeah, go on, keep going, mate. 283 00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:50,700 Right, swing a left here. 284 00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:53,660 Right, drive up those ramps there. 285 00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:56,300 Right, drive up the ramps into the truck. 286 00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:57,220 Come on, Roy, quickly! 287 00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:58,740 Yep, okey-doke. 288 00:14:01,780 --> 00:14:03,540 Come on! 289 00:14:03,540 --> 00:14:06,380 I'm climbing onto the truck. Am I on it? Am I on it? I can't see. 290 00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:09,380 Oh, no! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 291 00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:11,940 What's the matter with you? 292 00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:13,100 Get driving, man! 293 00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:15,420 Just get it up! 294 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:23,220 Up, up, up, up we go into the truck. 295 00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:29,300 SIRENS BLARE 296 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,580 CRYING AND WHIMPERING 297 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,580 What's that? Is someone crying? 298 00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:51,020 No. 299 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:58,260 Did you see that ludicrous display last night? 300 00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:05,740 What was Wenger thinking bringing Walcott on that early? 301 00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:15,860 The thing about Arsenal is, they always try and walk it in. 302 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:23,620 But why? I don't understand, 303 00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:26,060 I thought it was going so well. Was it something I did? 304 00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:29,340 No, no. It's hard to explain. 305 00:15:29,340 --> 00:15:32,780 Tell me, Jen, for God's sake. You owe me that much. 306 00:15:34,940 --> 00:15:37,700 You look like a magician, Michael. 307 00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:39,420 All right? 308 00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:41,780 I'm sorry, but you do. 309 00:15:41,780 --> 00:15:46,780 I didn't notice at first, but then someone mentioned it and now I can't get it out of my head. 310 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,260 But I'm not a magician. 311 00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:51,060 I know, that's why it's not good that you look like one. 312 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:53,660 Well, what is it, exactly, about me? 313 00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:57,660 It's everything. 314 00:15:57,660 --> 00:16:01,020 There's nothing about you that doesn't look like a magician. 315 00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:04,900 It's everything. Don't you see it? Don't you wake up every morning 316 00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:08,020 and look in the mirror and think, "Christ, I look like a magician!"? 317 00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:10,940 No. Well, you should. 318 00:16:10,940 --> 00:16:15,020 I would, if I was a weirdy, beardy magiciany man. 319 00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:17,460 I'm just trying to help you, Michael. 320 00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:20,140 So it's over because of that? 321 00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:23,060 I don't see any way past it. 322 00:16:23,060 --> 00:16:25,820 It's weird, it's weird for me. 323 00:16:25,820 --> 00:16:27,140 I'm sorry. 324 00:16:27,140 --> 00:16:31,180 No, wait. Maybe we can think of something. 325 00:16:34,900 --> 00:16:38,660 What if I actually learned some magic tricks? 326 00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:40,020 What do you mean? 327 00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:45,780 Perhaps if I learned some tricks, it wouldn't feel so strange that I look like a magician. 328 00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:48,580 You'd have to learn a lot of tricks. 329 00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:53,860 I mean, you'd basically you'd have to actually become a magician. 330 00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:56,860 Do you really want to make that kind of commitment? 331 00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:02,220 What was all that about? 332 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:04,260 We was stitched up, they knew we were there. 333 00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:05,340 Oh, shut up, Barry. 334 00:17:05,340 --> 00:17:07,380 It was always a possibility, that's why we had the truck. 335 00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:11,300 I'm telling you, we were barely out of there before the bill turned up. Someone grassed us up. 336 00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:12,940 Oh, is that the...? 337 00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:15,940 Oh, I've got to go, I don't want to miss Gok's Fashion Fix. 338 00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:18,060 Yeah, you're too quick to trust people. 339 00:17:18,060 --> 00:17:20,460 What do we know about this bloke? How do we know he didn't do it? 340 00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:23,460 Because he didn't know about it till this afternoon. 341 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,420 I didn't know about it till this afternoon. 342 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:28,020 That's why I chose him to do it after you shot Derek. 343 00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:31,220 That's why he chose me to do it after you shot Derek. 344 00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:33,740 Hello. 345 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:35,820 Hiya. 346 00:17:35,820 --> 00:17:39,060 You remember Moss? 347 00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:41,620 So, tell me all about the big robbery. 348 00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,380 What? 349 00:17:43,380 --> 00:17:45,980 Roy saw a robbery. 350 00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:48,820 Did you phone the police like you said you would? 351 00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:52,940 I didn't say that, I said I was listening to The Police. 352 00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:55,820 Look at all that money. I wonder how much is there? 353 00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:57,940 Oh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven... 354 00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:02,420 You and your bloody great ideas. I mean, who's this bloke? 355 00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:05,780 All we know about him is he supports West Ham. 356 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,780 Or maybe that's a lie too. 357 00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:10,700 Hey, hey now, little man. 358 00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:15,220 You can stand there and slag me off all you like. 359 00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:19,300 But don't you start talking about how I feel about my beloved West Ham. 360 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:20,860 Cos I love 'em. 361 00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:22,820 I love 'em gooners. 362 00:18:22,820 --> 00:18:24,820 That's bloody Arsenal. 363 00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:28,260 Look, if you've got a problem with him, you've got a problem with me. 364 00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:29,860 You're fucking right I have! 365 00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:32,140 Excuse me, I am trying to concentrate over here. 366 00:18:32,140 --> 00:18:36,500 And will you watch your ruddy language? My ears are not a toilet. 367 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,140 Derek was right about you. 368 00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:40,580 What are you after? My piece of the action? 369 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:41,580 You want to end up in the boot with Derek, son? 370 00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:43,140 Do you want to make one? 371 00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:45,460 Yeah, I'll make one, mate. I'll make one right now. 372 00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:46,940 Oh, yeah? Let's have it. Don't you mug yourself. 373 00:18:46,940 --> 00:18:48,900 Let's have it! Don't mug yourself! 374 00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:51,060 Do it. Yeah? 375 00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:53,860 THEY SHOUT AMONG THEMSELVES 376 00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:59,380 I need to know how much is there. 377 00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:01,980 No, you don't. 378 00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:05,820 We need to get out of here, OK? We do not want to get mixed up in this. 379 00:19:05,820 --> 00:19:08,340 SIRENS BLARE 380 00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:10,380 What are we going to do now? Quick. 381 00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:14,740 Get out of the way, you bloody poof. 382 00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:22,940 OK, let's go. 383 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:27,060 Couldn't we have just have hidden behind those bins? 384 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:32,260 I suppose. 385 00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:01,980 Right, let's go. 386 00:20:09,740 --> 00:20:14,020 So, er, if you just place these back into the pack. 387 00:20:14,020 --> 00:20:16,860 Just pop it back in, that's it. Sorry, I'm a bit nervous. 388 00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:22,580 And before your very eyes, I shall do the magic shuffle. 389 00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:25,660 And, er - ignore that - this will go in here 390 00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:30,020 and Bob's your uncle, abracadabra, is this your card? 391 00:20:32,420 --> 00:20:34,420 No, Michael. 392 00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:36,460 I'm sorry, Michael, 393 00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:38,540 it's over. 394 00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:40,900 SOBBING 395 00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:45,340 I better make sure she's all right. 396 00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:48,380 Anyone see the final last night, eh? 397 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:49,820 Fuck off, Harry. 398 00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:02,020 50, 100, 150, 200, 250, 300, 399 00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:06,340 350, 400, 450, 500, 550, 600... 400 00:21:11,780 --> 00:21:17,380 I think my dentist lives near here, do you know him? 401 00:21:17,380 --> 00:21:20,460 That's a stupid question - why would you know him? 402 00:21:20,460 --> 00:21:22,700 It's not like you live in the truck. 403 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:27,700 So, what sort of truck is this? Are there different sorts of trucks? 404 00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:29,340 Is that a stupid question? 405 00:21:29,340 --> 00:21:33,060 Listen to me chatting away like Stephen bloody Fry. 406 00:21:38,820 --> 00:21:40,780 Who closed the door? 407 00:21:40,781 --> 00:21:42,881 subsBusters 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net